Bee(r) Stingers
My sister-in-law was stung by a wasp yesterday.
She was outside, enjoying her above-ground pool at the time. She reached for her can of beer, put it to her mouth, and turned it up.
With the onrush of cool, refreshing Milwaukee’s Best (ugh!) came a wasp who had innocently been enjoying the brew in the shade inside the can.
She (I read somewhere that male wasps don’t have the capability to sting) was washed out of the can, and ended up in Carol’s mouth. Her natural instinct (as it is with many females in an awkward situation) was to defend attack.
She stung Carol on her tongue.
That’s gotta hurt.
According to brother-in-law’s report, her tongue began to swell, and she soon was unable to swallow.
Uh Oh.
No swallow, no more beer!
He took her to the local emergency room, where she was put on a benedryl drip IV and forced to undergo “quiet time.”
Brother-in-law went home and got some quiet time himself.
After three hours of IV and rest, Carol was allowed to leave the medical palace and return home.
I think her episode is one of the most compelling reasons to only drink beer in the bottle or on tap, don’t you?
My advice — buy a six-pack of Milwaukee’s Best, 
and buy enough Newcastle Ale
(or similar middle of the road amber ale) in the bottle or mini-keg to last through the day.
Open all six of the Milwaukee’s Bests and place them strategically around your group, at least fifteen feet away from anyone. Let these cans draw and drown all wasps, flies, etc.
Chill and drink the Newcastle Ale.
When your idiot neighbor comes over to complain about the noise/music/acrid smell/etc., offer him a Milwaukee’s Best.
mmmmmmm… Newcastle. BTW, you’re not a beer-snob, are you?
There’s something hilarious about a Wasp drinking Milwaukee… I always thought they drank things like martinis or gin & tonics.
Sorry to hear about your dad, too… I’m sure it’s hard.
bradley
July 10, 2009 at 9:06 am
Nah — not a snob.
I just gained a real taste for the malty goodness of Brit brown ale back in my submarine days….
From wikipedia — “The shifting of a significant portion of American economic activity and wealth to the Sun Belt during the latter part of the 20th century, as well as the advent of a more globalized economy, can also be attributed to the “decline” of the Eastern-based WASP establishment.”
Perhaps they’re cheap beer drinkers just to fit in down south.
backstripe
July 10, 2009 at 10:24 am
Would it make the family reunions too wild if we were to start bringing beer?
We could make it a rule that if it’s that cheap watery stuff (Coors, InBev/AB, etc.) you’re not allowed to consume it.
Or, maybe we should start a family microbrewery….
Rial Sloan II
July 20, 2009 at 11:10 am
Who could say no if it was good beer?
It’d make those hot (June and August) afternoons more bearable, wouldn’t it?
backstripe
July 20, 2009 at 3:03 pm